How telling the truth can be the very medicine we need
“Tell the truth about your wound, and then you will get a truthful picture of the remedy to apply to it. Don’t pack whatever is easiest or most available into the emptiness. Hold out for the right medicine. You will recognize it because it makes your life stronger rather than weaker.”
~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés
It can be so tempting to plaster over our wounds. I have been there, perhaps more times than I can count, whether it was by directly numbing my emotions, when I was living out of alignment in my old relationship, which had me create Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or even today, when my Secret Witch wants to come in and have me not create time for my own integration (as I was recently reminded after my shamanic healing).
I remember, especially, though, one particular time, where I felt deeply in victim, when I was seriously wanting to opt out of this path, doubting myself and my possibility and mistrusting my Soul Guide. And I very nearly chose out because I didn't want to lose control. The fear was real. I say this path isn't easy, because I have travelled to the dark depths that my clients face, and alchemised them myself.
That particular time, I spent the whole of one of my sessions with one of my Soul Guides sobbing my heart out, feeling the shame of my vulnerability, my fear and anger at him for not rescuing me, as I'd always been rescued before. I projected everything I had at him, as he held me, in silence, loving all the wounding that was coming up to be seen and loved. My Material for Liberation.
And it was dark, and uncomfortable and heart-breaking to be in the messiness of the old stories and fears that were coming up to be loved. My old stories that "I couldn't create what I desired", that "I couldn't believe in magic," that "I wasn't capable," that "I wasn't enough".
And yet, as I sat there, sobbing, in that messy, horrible, vulnerable pool of fear, there was deep, deep medicine. There was a Truthful, unconditional love that infused me with a sense of *all of me* really being welcome, and that offered me permission to go there, perhaps for the first time, and begin to love myself in my helplessness, my defensiveness, my mistrust and my fear about losing control.
I'd sat in Truth before, but this particular time was one of the most potent that I remember because I was loved, deeply in my fear - I was held in my vulnerability to reveal the deeper Truth of my wound, whilst also being held in the Truth of my possibility. This is the power of having a Soul Guide.
And as Clarissa says, that truth-telling about our wounds, without packing them - even and especially when that is one of the hardest things to choose - is the medicine we need to be able to truly alchemise our fears into gold. We can feel so compelled to run, hide, divert, distract - to do anything that will pack that wound right back up, so that the emptiness isn't felt anymore. But really, all of it is the deepest of calls for Love and Truth, so that we can be set free of our limiting beliefs.
And I see now, this particular Material for my Liberation led to me making a deeper energetic choice; a deeper devotion to myself and my soul. As it turns out, this messiness was exactly what led to me alchemising my deepest fears of it not being possible to create my soul-led life and business, as I saw them for what they were; fears. And from being there with all of that fear, and learning to love myself in it, I've since created all the evidence to inform myself that these fears were wrong.
The deeper choice to be made, if you're here, is to tell the Truth about your wounds, rather than to pack them up as you have before, and allow them to become your medicine. That, I've come to see, is the only way to heal and create the lasting transformation that has us created our deepest, most beautiful, most juicy heart and soul's longings. And that's what I've gone on to do, since this messy, beautiful cracking open.
It's a hard choice to make because of the fact it often requires us to walk through our deepest wounds in order to alchemise them. But the alternative is to keep packing that wounding away, and living a numb, unfulfilled life, where that same wounding keeps coming back to haunt you. And that's always an option, but it's important to know that's what you're choosing.
The important thing is to love yourself, so that you can choose what's aligned.
What will you choose? ♥️
If you’re feeling the call to begin the journey into telling the truth, join us in the tender first steps of this path in our free Manifesting with Moon live ritual next New Moon.
if you've any questions, send me an email.
Nicole x
