How to Allow Pleasure and Desire to Be our Soul’s Loving Guide
“Pleasure is our Birthright.”
~ Michaela Boehm
This quote by Michaela Boehm really stands out to me this month as we move into the energetic of February’s New Moon in Aquarius, which is inviting us into realignment with our heart’s purpose - and our passion, pleasure and desires. And yet, pleasure, despite it being our birthright - and the important way that we can come to tune into our Soul’s truth a little bit deeper - it is something that our culture often doesn’t value. (Michaela is on our Secret Witch Show this month, sharing all about that, so have a listen here )
Recently, though, I spent time receiving my long-term vision for my Queen Witch's leisure time - a day at the park with my love, his family, one of my most long term friends, and Lily's cousins, watching them play together, hold hands, cuddle, love each other when they cried, hearts fully open to love and the moment. A vegan gluten free meal for everyone, some wine, lots of laughs, all at our home, commutable to London. This was my long-term vision 6 years prior. And pleasure and desire had a role to play in this Soul-led creation. I’ll share the story…
Years ago, one month before I was getting married, one of my best girlfriends married my best male friend's brother, after we had set them up a few years' earlier. At their wedding, my best male friend looked at me across the table as if I was *everything* and I realised my whole life had been lived looking for love that was conditional. This was my first experience of being seen and loved for the real me.
I got married, despite the unconditional love from my best male friend being acknowledged, because Secret Witch, back then, felt she required approval and security. She was about to enter a 3 year descent, where her Soulmate disappeared from her life. The pain was excruciating. It was such a trauma for me, one that had me deeply disconnect from my body, but as I learned to take small steps into my Soul path it also cracked me open to myself, to celebrating and loving the Witchy parts of me I'd denied, to loving myself. I spent 3 years longing for my heart's desire to be fully myself and receive unconditional love.
Fast forward 6 years and I am now with that best male friend; he's Lily's dad, and so we spent the day celebrating our babies and laughing together as family and friends. Something my Soul had dreamed of, longed for, ached for.
It took a lot of power to manifest this dream, and much of it was created in Secret Witchy ways, without knowing I had the power to get there. But much of it was also created through unconditional love and tending my pain as I chose to follow my heart and Soul rather than stay in the life I was living, looking for conditional love.
Despite this being an edgy share for me, I posted about this in my Secret Witch Circle Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/secretwitch and then I came to notice that there was an elephant in the room missing from my words and story; a glaringly obvious one, but only visible to a true Witch Queen.
What was missing? Well, my exploration of the *desire* I felt in order to create this life. The aching, longing that I felt for another man when I was married. The longing and desire that in my story, "Good Girls don't feel". Oh the shame that comes up to be tended when I admit that. The shame that *all* Secret Witches feel when they come to even accessing their desires - and especially when those desires go against the grain of gaining them love, approval or security.
And so, it was the crucial missing element in my love story. We can't manifest the lives we long for without our desire - our beautiful Feminine, Witchy desire. We can't create our heart's deepest longings without desire. Abraham Hicks' quotes share this all the time. And so, yes, I *desired* my love so strongly, against all the odds. Until finally, one day, it made no sense not to choose it; even despite the shame, the unknown and the guilt. To allow pleasure and desire to lead; to allow Soul to lead.
The costs were to either stay as I was, living a half-hearted life, or choose to liberate myself and stay true to the pleasures and desires of my Soul. Eventually, it becomes too much to stay where you are, much like how when you walk the path of Soul, there becomes a point where you can no longer return to where you have come from.
Pleasure and desire are the creative seedbeds of all our magic. And yet, usually, Secret Witches can't even begin to get in touch with their pleasures or desires because of the shadowy layers of guilt, shame and fear that unconsciously keep them stuck. Until we do the deep work to integrate this shadow, we will always stay stuck in avoiding our pleasures and desires.
And, often (and especially when walking the path of ascension, such as 3p), this guilt, shame and fear will stay pushed into the darkness, dismissed - along with the desire - as though the desire doesn't matter at all. Because for the Secret Witch (a woman who doesn't know her true power) it feels easier to stay small and numb, than to admit her heart's true Soul calling and longing and face the guilt, shame and fear that comes up to be loved into liberation.
Learning to love these wounded parts of ourselves is the *only* place true freedom can be found. It's the only place *you* can be found. The only way to ourselves is to tend what is unconscious and allow our full, wild selves - our Soul's deepest desires - to be heard and seen - and chosen anyway.
This is what the path of *Soul* is all about; diving within to find all the walls we have built up around our true, deep heart's longings. Around our pleasures. And, as we learn to love all the "unwelcome" parts of ourselves that are hiding in the shadows, our true Soul desires - usually deeper, and more heart-led than some of the more superficial desires we can get in touch with - feel safer to emerge.
This, my loves, is the work of the Witch Queen. So, despite this being an edgy share for me, I'm celebrating the Witch and her path of desire, pleasure, power and magic, in all its glorious, messy, Truthful, raw beauty. And delighting in my manifesting of the truthful, soul-led, heart wide open life of unconditional love I once thought impossible - and yet created from love, by allowing my heart to lead me deeper into pleasure and desire. Even though it felt taboo.
There's still tending to do - our desires grow and require more of us - but the power we reclaim as we tread the path of Soul has us transform our lives incredibly. We really do become the woman we longed to become, living the life we longed for.
Your Witch Queen is calling you into liberation too - are you willing to submit to her loving call of desire, so you can manifest the life you long for? Slowly does it, if you need to go gently then do; but keep choosing her and allowing her pleasure… After all; it’s her birthright.
Much love
Nicole x
