“Careful, You’re Becoming A Narcissist”
“In my lack of defenses and curiousity about what this triggered for him - magic occured.”
~ Nicole Barton
⚡🖤"CAREFUL, YOU'RE BECOMING A NARCISSIST" 🖤⚡
I received this message in my inbox last night, from a man I once knew.
If you know my teachings about Feminine power, you'll know that I teach from a lineage with a deep reverence for the Masculine - I'm open to recieving the Masculine's provisions, rather than rebelling against them - and I see Men as Kings. 👑
It hasn't always been this way - it's taken YEARS of deep work to change this worldview because I had all sorts of stories about Men before, but it's something that has hugely transformed and I'm in the deep work of all the time.
🖤 So I'll be honest, I didn't expect the message I received because it's not an energetic I've hit up against for a while. I know there's some deep gold in it for me - even if just to own that I've journeyed deeply enough to be able to say that I wasn't particularly triggered - so I want to caveat this post with sharing that I can see there's some misunderstanding somewhere, and I don't want to shame this person.
[Also, I'm owning that I've somewhere I created this and was available for it - likely because I was writing copy earlier saying all good leaders will provoke responses not always desired 😆.]
AND still, I'm sharing it, because I sense it illuminates an energetic dynamic between the Feminine and the Masculine - one of fear and closure - that a lot of aspiring Feminine spiritual leaders hit up against.
The message was a reply to my story, which was a teaching post guiding magical women into their gifts and full expression - and the man said "careful, you're becoming narcissistic."
At this point old 'Leader Wounded' Nicole would have fumed and anhialated this kind of message with some sarcastic comment. 💥
But this time, I paused, and I opened - wondering what would be created from this place if I stayed open. I dropped my defenses and I asked him if he could please share more, and he warned "forever posting different pictures of yourself, for starters."
Now, I don't know about anyone else but I'm going to guess that most people know that social is a great place to share your message and I tend to educate on here a lot - and all my photos are accompanied by teaching pieces.
⭐ Valuable teaching pieces that I've been praised by many for their depth.
And yet, even though I (ironically! 😆) haven't actually shared one single photo of myself in the last 7 posts, and when I do, they are with valuable serving content, I was being cautioned for "forever posting different pictures" of myself.
⚡ And I share this because SO many women feel shame and fear about stepping onto social media and using their voices.
⚡ So many women feel the fear of showing up and educating and being vulnerable.
⚡ So many women feel the fear of being judged, rejected and shamed.
I do too - many of my vulnerable posts are me leaning into an edge, and most certainly it's taken me devotion to show up as as I do.
Many of the times I speak the courageous truth of what's in my heart - when I KNOW it may not be received with the love it is always intended, I have to choose over and over to open and lean into the edge of serving with truth.
So, to the wounded little girl in me that could have received this as a trigger and could have INNOCENTLY CLOSED, it took EVERYTHING to have learned not to close at this point.
🖤 And that same fear has my women in closure, in fear, in shame. It has them suppress their authentic selves, their voices, their magic.
🖤 It has them suppress their HEALING MEDICINE.
🖤 Just in case they are SHAMED and JUDGED for being a narcissist who shines too brightly and shares too many photos of themselves.
💔 And that's an absolute TRAGEDY.
🌹 So this post is for us - for YOU - and the younger version of ME, who would have shrivelled and shamed herself, once, at recieving this message.
Instead, last night, I patted myself on the back for being a WITCH - for being a leader who shone brightly enough to be SEEN - and hopefully an inspiration for other women who fear showing up - and for my open, vulnerable Femininity and my courage to open my heart to love.
And as you can see - in my lack of defenses and curiousity about what this triggered for him - magic occured. 💃
He shared that he could see I had "found myself."
When we stay open and curious, we can alchemise this sort of feedback into gold. We can see that we don't have to rebel against the "patriarchy", and yet, we can still absolutely choose to be unavailable for that energetic of judgement - whilst loving people who show up in fear and inviting them to see what's truly there. Love.
⚡ Stepping into leadership - especially as a Witch - as a Feminine leader - means being open to PENETRATION.
If you are a powerful leader, you WILL come up against feedback that doesn't always feel good.
And there's always something there for us in that - but it doesn't mean we have to take projection on, or be available to dance in it.
💃 We can stay centred in our Feminine power and magic.
So, if you're showing up and sharing - whatever it is - in the name of love and service, then KEEP GOING. I feel your heart and courage and vulnerability. And I can promise we won't die when people misunderstand. 🌹
As it happens, anyway, I already knew I was a narcissist - my Gene Keys tells me so, and I'll own the GIFT in that particular wound 😉 Because I have a deep thirst for expansion and self-knowing - and that's serving for the world that I do.
All witches also have this gift, actually.
So long as we are harnessing that gift of narcissism for education, love and magic -
- well, the world will be a better place.
So, here's another narcissistic photo of me to go alongside my truthful, courageous share.
Anyone got a problem with that?
😉🌹💃
if you've any questions, send me an email.
Nicole x
