How to Feel Worthy of your Power and Magic
"Being soft and open, courageous, vulnerable and allowing our hearts to lead is the exact medicine we need to create magical lives."
~ Nicole Barton
The Secret Witch (aka a woman who doesn't know her power and magic) really beats herself up; she often feels a great shame about her dull-feeling life, and has a really big sense that she is not enough for the life that she dreams about. She doubts herself - and often doesn’t trust others, either, leaving her in protection mode - like an armadillo - more often than not.
And, because of that, she will usually completely shut down *any* desire in her body which lights up and says “yes, that’s for me” - valuing logic over her heart. Logic has kept her safe, all her life, after all. It eventually becomes that she numbs and ignores her body to the point that she feels only the dull ache of disconnection, and shuts herself down completely from any desires, or any pleasure. Other things are far more important in her mind, than any deep desires she might have - and anyone who feels joy must be making it up, she reasons with herself.
What’s happening here is that she begins to be innocently devoted to doubting herself *so* fully that she doesn't even believe she's worthy of anything different. She becomes so used to living her life in hiding - being unheard, unseen, burdened and burned out - that this becomes the norm, and any way that looks like a way out of that begins to feel deeply unsafe. It’s often easier to stay exactly where we are, in our smaller lives - it’s safer that way, she will tell herself.
I’ve been here, so I know how it feels to be living that life - I know how safe it can feel to stay small, and keep unconsciously choosing indecision - and even actively avoiding entering into work that feels expansive by simply pushing the desire to the back of the queue.
And that’s why I've come to see the bigger pattern at play that comes in when my Secret Witches begin to even allow themselves to think about taking the tender first steps into the path of Soul. There’s often so much fear, so much anxiety about the possibility that, actually, we could begin to change this. I know from the Secret Witches who do courageously take the leap to explore if my offerings are for them, this fear and self doubt - and their ideas of not being worthy enough to even walk the path - these are all big fears that can even stop them from even initially reaching out to explore the possibility for them to expand and walk the path.
And so, I wanted to speak to the hearts of my women today, to let you know - I totally resonate with it. There's a sense in the Secret Witch that she can't receive, that she has to be guarded against the world - even that she will be taken advantage of - and that magic is a scam, that’s too good to be true. This is the life you’ve lived so far; one where good things don’t happen to you, where you are perhaps mocked for your desires to grow, for your big dreams. And the life you’ve created so far, this way - well, it has its benefits. Protecting our hearts from failure, from more disappointment and from rejection can look far more appealing at times.
And yet, I’ve seen and I know - because I've come up against all of these fears myself - that the deeper we go into this work, the more evidence there is that being soft and open, courageous, vulnerable and allowing our hearts to begin to lead is the exact medicine we need to create magical lives. I also know that you deserve that; even though I know you don’t believe you do. It’s time for you to let love in, to listen to your body and to begin to learn to create differently. You are worthy of it all.
And so, when I invite you, softly, to explore your next steps with me, openly, and with love, I am offering a safe space for you to come and sit with me in all of your fears, your unworthiness, your doubts, your tension, your protection mode, and allow yourself to be loved, unconditionally, by me. I’m inviting you to ask the bigger questions "am I really worthy, after all? Is magic really real? Am I more powerful than I thought?" - I know the answer is yes (to all of it) and I'll hold you in my alchemical cauldron for as *long* as it takes for you to feel worthy enough to choose what is in the deepest alignment for you - whether that's something I can help with, or something entirely different.
I'm here to lovingly hold you in my heart until you can even begin to get a glimpse of your own magic. So, whether you feel worthy, enough, full of doubts, scared of being scammed, or whatever else - I'm here, loving you, unconditionally.
If you're feeling something stirring, and you’d like to explore beyond the fear, whether you are meant for the very first steps on this path to body, love and magic, you have two choices - one to stay as you are, or two, to reach out and allow yourself to be held as you begin to love yourself.
I’ve got you - and I'll help you get in touch with your heart and begin to create differently. Will you allow that?
Much love
Nicole x
