Is Your Unworthiness Having You Trying To Dose Medicine Before You’ve Become An Embodied Shaman?
Becoming a shaman or a Medicine Woman isn't a case of logically learning magic and then churning it out as a commercialised thing. It is a process of deep initiation, which takes time, space, devotion, and a willingness to be in the mystery of the Feminine. (And if I'm totally honest, blood, sweat and tears)
~ Nicole Barton
IS YOUR UNWORTHINESS HAVING YOU TRYING TO DOSE MEDICINE BEFORE YOU'VE *BECOME* AN EMBODIED SHAMAN?
Something I've noticed recently in magical ones is the tendency to want to skip over the part where we *become* our remedy.
And I get this, I really do - until more recent years, I felt I could only ever invest in myself - time, energy and money - if it was under the guise of it being for my "business" via all the healing trainings.
🔥Newsflash: this is TRAUMA around UNWORTHINESS making choices for you. 🔥
(It's actually the Witch Wound in disguise)
Over the last few years of developing the path to birthing your soul's gifts into the world, I've seen that the true, deep journey of dosing your medicinal healing gifts into the world is in four phases:
🌹 SELF-HEALING
🌹 DISCOVERING OUR REMEDY
🌹 BECOMING / EMBODYING OUR REMEDY
🌹 DOSING OUR REMEDY
Despite this, there's a lot of focus in the world of magical business around 'dosing' (because that's what women tend to want) - and it makes sense as that model is grounded in the logical, linear way we are taught in the masculine modern world - "learn and implement".
But it's another symptom of magic being put in a mundane, 'more palatable' box in a world that wants to rush.
When you try to apply this masculine model to true, deep, healing magic - real magical science - it just *doesn't work.*
Becoming a shaman or a Medicine Woman isn't a case of logically learning magic and then churning it out as a commercialised thing.
It is a process of deep initiation, which takes time, space, devotion, and a willingness to be in the mystery of the Feminine. (And if I'm totally honest, blood, sweat and tears )
In other words, it is a *becoming* - an *embodiment*.
🔥 If you skip the embodied becoming, you are missing the most important part.
Yet the most common fear I hear from Secret Witches is "I can't invest in myself" or "I can't spend all this time healing myself, I need a return", "I need to make money".
And there's no shame here in that - it is all welcome, it is what we are taught. It is innocent.
[Don't mishear me, either - I'm also a big believer that we should (and can) make money from dosing our medicine into the world, which is another fear from the Secret Witch who often sees magic and money as binary opposites. Nope!]
But in all truthfulness, this focus on the fear of investing in yourself and your own healing and becoming - which usually shows up as a fear of time and/or financial investment - is likely still coming from a place of feeling unworthy of allowing yourself to truly embody your inner healing magic.
It's another symptom of the resistance to sink into Medicine Woman *fully* and trust her.
I know it well. And the pain of it.
I also know that the becoming of your medicine - the self-healing and the discovery and the embodiment of your Medicine Woman - is the true key to soulful 'success' in dosing it. These are the most valid and valuable parts of the journey - if you want to be truly in integrity as your soul's gifts.
Unworthiness trauma will have you convinced otherwise. That shadow will have you want to rush the speed of the journey and skip the dark initiations that are necessary to be a fully embodied healer.
But the route is the route.
Trying to do it any other way is like a shaman trying to logically learn shamanism and dosing it into the world without allowing themselves to fully become an embodiment of the shaman's wisdom first.
It misses the true magic.
What comes up for you there?
PS: This is why full, deep, conscious self-healing is so integral as the first step into our Archetypal Apothecary healing modality. We begin in Feb, link in comments.
Art: Lensa's embodiment of my Medicine Woman
if you've any questions, send me an email.
Nicole x
