Why Hope is the Gateway to Soul and Magic
“Once you set that spark of hope, possibility and desire alight, there's no stopping the magic it will begin to create.”
~ Nicole Barton
This morning I went to my tree and asked "what do my women need, right now?" And I heard "for you to be with them in hopefulness".
I've been thinking about how the gateway to my work is often "hope." Often when my women first begin to walk the path they will have experienced some depths of darkness that have had them feel deep in hopelessness - ill health, trauma, relationship breakdown, being burned out - or something similar that has initiated them into the path of soul. And usually until that point they will have spent a considerable amount of time and energy on exploring magical modalities (reiki, homeopathy, natural medicine, spirituality, etc) in ways that are having them "hope" that they will not be in that darkness anymore. They've usually been working against their ill health, their trauma, their burn out, their lack of love. They'd do anything to avoid going back there.
And often, from here, they will be beginning to glimpse hope that there's a possibility for them - even though largely they can't see it - to either begin to heal, or expand in some way. They will start to get glimpses of how there's a possibility for them to no longer be working "against" their challenges, fears and problems, but beginning to be "for" a new possibility. They may begin to see this as a possibility for being well, for being healed, for love, for more energy, or something else they begin to see is a desire.
I saw this when I was having a conversation with my Soul Guide yesterday, because I couldn't understand why - very much unlike me - my women struggle with choosing themselves and devoting to soul.
One thing I see my women struggle with, over and over again, is choosing themselves. Often the need to begin to choose themselves (or devote to themselves) shows up firstly only as that smack in the face as they suffer burn out, ill health, a loss or a trauma that leads to a burning away of all they know; the desire beginning to kindle is simply a deep need to feel better, which doesn't feel like a desire so much as a need. Often the need for them to choose themselves finally becomes conscious, only in this darkness they find themselves in. And it's at this point - when they're in the cold - that some of their deeper desires begin screaming at them in ways that really leave them no option but to finally choose themselves. Because - until this point of break down - they've usually not allowed themselves to even *see* they have needs and desires.
And whilst often the Secret Witch (who doesn't know her own power and magic) is treading my path, and often feels the same way I do, I've seen that this lack of devotion to themselves is something I have really struggled to understand - because it is such an unconscious competence of mine.
There is absolutely nothing that would stop me choosing to walk my Soul path, these days. There's a *burning* desire in me to live from Soul and Truth that makes my choices inevitable - even though I might go there kicking and screaming and burning at times as I take the next aligned-action.
And so, I got curious as to why, so often, my woman finds it *so* hard to choose herself, when I find it not only inevitable but *compulsory.*
What came to me, after a beautiful conversation with my own Soul Guide, was that often my women usually only begin to get a glimpse of the *desire* required for their deep devotion to themselves in the early stages - and that this only begins to happen as they start to see what they *don't* want. As they begin to be in that "against what they *don't* want" phase - the phase which births some sort of Hope.
Often, the point at which my woman will begin to feel any deep desire to find a magical solution is when they hit rock bottom and begin to come to know they just *can't* live like this any more. And as I write this, I see that many, many years ago, I was here too - right in the midst of my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I guess until that point, I'd not seen that I could create a magical life - and I wasn't consciously devoted to it either. But at that rock bottom, I did make a choice; I knew what I didn't want, and I knew, therefore, that I was here for more than a life of illness, burn out and depression. I had hope for more possibility.
I had no idea, at the time, that this was the kindling of the fire of my desire and devotion. That this was me choosing to "devote" to myself and even begin to see my deeper desires. It was totally unconscious. But I see now, that this is often the point my women begin to crack open, in their darkness, to the fact that they have a choice to choose another way; the way of Soul. It is often their very feeling of surrender - their initial giving up of "hope" of the Mundane world fixing them, actually - that is what will have my women begin to put their faith in magic, reclaim their possibility - and begin to see (or at least hope) that there is a way to heal and expand - magically. In ways that don't always make sense.
And from the space of being where they don't want to be, alchemy occurs - they begin to open up more deeply to their secret and hidden deeper desires: because contrast allows that. The call of the darkness takes them into rediscovery, into new possibilities. This is likely the very first time they've been open to allowing themselves to tune into magic.
They may have found solace in "well, nothing else worked, so let's try homeopathy, or reiki" - or some other magical practice. And in that moment, magic begins to unfold as they start to see it works, that there is healing - and their hearts begin to compute that something so unknown can be the way forward, rather than logic.
But largely, they've not yet begun to see their own possibility to create that same magic. And that's where they arrive at my door, with hope and a hint of possibility. They will likely still not be sure whether they can "do it" - whether they are capable of creating magic - but they are beginning to kindle the fire of their possibility.
And, that, right there is where their deeper desire and devotion begins to be birthed. Until then, they've likely just beaten themselves up for their innocent lack of sticking at whatever they've tried, when they don't even know what their deeper desires are yet - because all they have is hope, not desire. Desire comes after hope, as they learn to allow it.
And it's often a small simmering of the fire - that often competes with the Mundane world's fear, doubt and conditioning that "magic isn't safe" - which makes it still very hard for my women to *know*, fully, that their hearts are longing to choose fully to open to their true possibility. It makes it all the more scary - and so, tending this fear and doubt is all part of our work.
So, they will largely see what they don't want, and teeter on the edge of choosing to learn more about magic and soul - and what's truly possible for them in the magical teachings of my path. Dancing, in and out of choosing themselves fully, because of the fear.
What often helps them choose it fully is seeing that in sitting where they are - dancing and not choosing it - is what leaves them staying exactly where they are: in the darkness, and in the hope - or even worse, hopelessness.
What helps them choose it fully is looking, very honestly, at all the ways it *costs* them to keep not choosing themselves - to keep allowing fear to create their lives, instead of choosing to let the fire of hope, possibility and desire begin to burn.
And eventually, as they get really truthful with themselves, that fire begins to burn brighter - until, one day, they are left with no other option than to choose to begin walking.
And so, I see now that this path is what led me here, to my devotion to soul as an unconscious competence. Because once you set that spark of hope, possibility and desire alight, there's no stopping the magic it will begin to create.
Today, I'm celebrating my devotion and the magic it has created for me. The knowing that everything we long for really *is* possible. And I celebrate all my women who *do* tend that fear of burning and allow themselves to see the hope and possibility for magic too. My women who do begin to let desire lead them from the darkness, through their storms, and into the aliveness of who they came here to be. And I see how that tending of that fire creates not only possibility for healing but creating our wildest dreams. I wouldn't be here with a magical business, a healed face and body, and my beautiful relationships, if I'd not had hope.
So I wonder, where are you in your journey - hopelessness, hope, possibility, desire or devotion?
Hope is the only requirement to begin this journey, it's the only ticket required to enter the gateway to soul and magic. One of my women from Creatrix shared that “Creatrix offers a wonderland of possibilities and finding the power to create them.” If you're at hope, dancing in and out of possibility, then this could be the very thing to help you begin see your power to kindle that fire of soul desire. We begin on 27th - click HERE if you’re hopeful enough to join us?♥️
Much love
Nicole x
