How to unleash the kinky witch within this Valentine’s Day
“We all have a witchy dark shadow side that we suppress. We might show up as a rebel, fighting for power, instead of being loving, or we might long for more power, but feel helpless and end up being the submissive good girl when we don’t really want to be.”.
~ Nicole Barton
HOW TO UNLEASH THE KINKY WITCH WITHIN THIS VALENTINE’S DAY
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner (and what’s thought to be the sexiest day of the year), there’s lots of talk of exploring fantasies and expressing your true self. But as British witch Nicole Barton explains, reclaiming and unleashing the kinky witch within doesn’t have to be sexual and for a partner to enjoy. Instead, discovering your own kinky witch is an act of self-connection, self-love and fierce empowerment…
While many of us think kink refers to sexy exploration, it can actually refer to quirks of our character which can be often hidden, deep down, out of shame. Or it can also be the kinky pleasure that we get from unconsciously playing out the unhelpful things we think about ourselves, or have been told to believe - perhaps this could be being the good girl; staying small and letting others take the reigns, or by being a rebel; being argumentative and going against the grain. Any of these sound familiar? By acknowledging these kinks, witch Nicole Barton, says that we can truly connect with what we actually want and show up as our authentic selves:
“We all have a witchy dark shadow side that we suppress. We might show up as a rebel, fighting for power, instead of being loving, or we might long for more power, but feel helpless and end up being the submissive good girl when we don’t really want to be.
“These opposite shadow poles are experienced by many witches - women who are here for magical lives - before they realise their true magic. Rebel witches may feel outcast and be unintentionally creating chaos, while the good girl ignores her power, in fear of repercussions and what others might think.
“These limiting beliefs and patterns are things that we live out unconsciously. And we usually push these patterns into the darkness never to be seen again, because we can’t face them. They are our innocent kinks - the parts we hate about ourselves,”.
When we get a glimpse of these sides of ourselves, it’s likely that this will be something we say we want to change about ourselves- perhaps we tell friends that we want to be more ‘loving’ (if we’ve been rebellious), or to be more ‘powerful’ (if we’re feeling helpless). But as Nicole explains, many of us get a kinky kick out of not reclaiming or relinquishing power, depending on where our shadow selves long to lurk.
“Whilst we may be able to see some of our own kinks, what we don’t see is the kinky pleasures we also get from NOT actually healing this shadow, even when we say we want to,” Nicole explains. “The truth is: we get kinky benefits from not changing. For example, if we are rebellious we get things our own way (largely at the costs of others), or if we are helpless, we don’t have to take responsibility for our lives.”
This Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to begin to liberate yourself of these fears, working more deeply with the kinky witch, as a lens to expressing the real you. Here’s four ways to unleash your inner kinky witch:
Notice: where do you notice you relate to the dominatrix energy (the rebel) - and where do you relate to the submissive energy (the good girl)? What is your usual tendency - which do you occupy most?
Journal: is this dynamic something you want to choose out of so you can express who you really are? What is the fear that comes up? What benefits do you get? How does this pattern cost you?
Embody: the aim isn’t to swing to the opposite end of the shadow pole (kinky!) - but it can be helpful to do so, for a short time to free yourself from your usual pattern. Play by dressing up and embodying the opposite personality to how you’d normally express - for example, you might try dressing as a domme or as a submissive (how kinky this goes is completely down to you!).
Get in the bedroom: You might even try this opposite dynamic out in the bedroom. Our fantasies often reveal all the ways that we’d actually like to be in life, too - so you might even notice that the opposite dynamic already shows up here (if only in your longings). Enjoy!
if you've any questions, send me an email.
Nicole x
