What does the paradox of being deeply sensitive have to do with being a Phosphoric woman?
“If you choose to soften, open and heal, you can heal and learn to become the most potent, beautifully sensitive, fiery, magical medicine - for yourselves, and the world.”
~ Nicole Barton
Yesterday I was reflecting on how there's a deep paradox to my Phosphoric women. I've been focused a lot recently on sharing their deep sensitivity, and how they feel everything so deeply, which can often have them in closure of their hearts. And that's true. My women typically are the 'Princess and the Pea' kind of women, who can smell cheese in the fridge from upstairs, and who may get over stimulated by bright lights, or need plenty of space to themselves. And they're also the kind of women who have always had a sensitivity to spirit, or other worldly happenings. Whether they admit that or not (and its likely they'll actually shame it).
But the paradox of this is that while they are deeply sensitive - which could sound like they are meek and mild - they are also fiery (which, by the way, means powerful)!
This fire means they've usually a sense that they are here for a deeper purpose than what they're currently living. There's a passion inside that's unmet, and dormant as a fiery longing that perhaps she doesn't even let herself see, but she knows it's there (if she allows herself to even witness it slightly).
And, the healthy expression of a Phosphoric woman - who has returned to a deep connection to her purpose and gifts - is a radiant light; she's someone following her burning desire and harnessing her power and magic to live her Soul's will - her purpose - who she came here to be.
My women - when they arrive at my door - will rarely feel this, though; their power will show up being harnessed in all sorts of fear-based ways. These deeply sensitive souls will have closed over their hearts and armoured up, which most likely means that instead of the deeply sensitive, open-hearted nature they were born as, they will largely be operating from years and layers of trauma surrounding their power and sensitivity. This could show up as them being a little bit 'tyranty' (yep that was me), or rebellious (yes, me too), or innocently creating an almighty load of drama that they don't want (uh-huh, me) - or they could also have swung to the opposite extreme and feel helpless and feeling like giving up (though they rarely truly have - also me).
So, we end up with a Magical One, suppressing and denying her gifts and misusing her power to create chaos.
And my heart breaks for those women - who are typically burned out (which is Phosphorus' typical suppressed state) from this closure to who they are - because its been created so innocently from fear and experiences that have had them layer over their gifts with trauma states.
What they don't see, often, is that it's possible to change. If they choose to soften, open and heal, they can heal and learn become the most potent, beautifully sensitive, fiery, magical medicine - for themselves, and the world.
They can learn to hold the magical paradox of their much needed sensitivity and softness *and* their fiery power.
And that likely won't be easy - it will require you to be willing to soften and open and trust the healing process (which can be difficult for a Phosphoric women whose feels her openness has been abused). It will require you to learn to trust your power, and to sink into deep healing of all the layers that shroud your core.
It will require the courage and vulnerability to re-open your heart amidst all the fear from your past trauma, and learn to love yourself there.
It's hard. But I can also promise you, it'll be worth it - to become that *more* you've always sensed; to become who you came here to be. To return to your fire.
I'll be guiding Magical Ones into beginning to heal this in early November in Invoke Your Wild Apothecary - we're officially opening for enrolment today (and those fiery women from the wait list, who had a sneak preview, are already claiming their space). Link in comments.
Will you allow yourself to hold the paradox of being fiery *and* deeply sensitive?
if you've any questions, send me an email.
Nicole x
